I've been struggling with something for several months now.
Happiness at work.
I have decided to leave.
I knew this wouldn't be my forever job.
I knew I would leave to advance, one day.
But I did not know it would be now.
I tried to shrug it off.
But then it started to catch up with me.
Remember me talking about those bad jogs? The one where I passed my exit and pulled into the gas station crying? It was because I was thinking of work. Or the most miserable 20 miler ever? Yeah...
I couldn't shake it no matter what I did.
Pray, work harder, stay longer...it just didn't matter.
There were several occasions where I wanted to throw in the towel and quit on the spot.
But that's just not how I roll.
I DON'T give up.
But I realized I'm not giving up.
I'm accepting that I deserve better.
I'm accepting that its not the place for me.
After an unbearable day last week I calmly shut my door and wrote my resignation letter.
I have never left a job because I wasn't happy.
When I transitioned from my last job to come to this place I worked 10 hour days to help prepare for the next person, I cried, my boss cried but it was for the best or so we all thought.
Whereas here, I can't wait until the last day.
After I turned in my resignation letter I felt a huge sigh of relief. A huge weight was lifted. But at the same time I felt beaten down, worn, emotionally exhausted, and hurt...
And honestly, I thought I would never experience these feelings again.
But it turns out, you don't have to be with someone to experience the emotions of a break up.
I'm going through a break up and it hurts just as badly as I remember it.
Umm...wow! So well spoken. Just last week I put in my notice and it sounds like a very similar situation. Left a job where I was happy for one I thought would be even better and it has done nothing but bring me down. I'm in your boat sista. Way to be strong and stand up for what you need. New doors will open!
ReplyDeletewe need to stay in touch. Its a journey! I am excited and happy to take on a new adventure but I defiantly got a beating from this place. Upward and onward I say!
DeleteI'm proud of you. Sometimes (most times) staying and fighting and being miserable is not worth the commitment. Moving on (aka moving forward and upward) is the best thing you could've done :)
ReplyDeleteI never fought, just took it cause I refuse to fight in a professional environment . But no one deserves to be yelled at for any reason. Its good to know your value and it feels even better that you have loved ones that support you!
DeleteLife is too short to be miserable over something like work. You are doing the right thing. <3
ReplyDeleteI am excited and horrified at the same time! This isn't in my nature! But life is too short and I am ready to start a new adventure.
DeleteI also just put in my notice and Friday is my last day! I never thought I would actually get to leave, but I did and I feel sooooo much better knowing that this is the end! I hope you find something better! It's such a huge step quitting a job so congrats on doing it!
ReplyDeletewow...I am so proud of you for putting your happiness first. I don't think many people will do that.
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad when our toxic work environment starts to leak into our personal life. It sounds like this was a great step for you in looking out for you. It takes a strong person! You will be back to your self and feeling better before you know it. Good luck as you move on to your new adventures!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I am going to really focus on my passions and focus on what fuels my happiness!
DeleteI'm glad for you. That's a hard decision to make, but you gotta do what's best for YOU.
ReplyDelete