Letting Go of the Ego

As you know I had to drop down from the full to the half marathon for my last race. I was rather devastated and I was so worried I would be caught up in what I couldn't do that I wouldn't enjoy what I could.

To be honest I was insecure with myself. 

I think, well for me at least once you run a full its like earning a badge or honor. Although a half is also honorable, you can not compare it to a full.

I had to let go of this type of mentality.

Not only was it snooty, it was crippling. I could not help I was injured (for the most part) and this chip on my shoulder would take away from a wonderful and fulfilling accomplishment.

This was no easy task especially when you have friends training for a full.

Am I the only one that likes to keep up with the Jones?

(link)

For the past year I always had a race on my mind, I had a number of miles I had to complete, I had to earn that 1,000 mile jacket! Oh yeah, my running club gives you a sweet running jacket if you run 1,000 miles. When I saw my friends getting them last year I felt like a freshman again yearning for a lettermens. But I realized, I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself. I was limited to how many miles I could run for about 3 months. Running 20 miles a week wasn't really an option during those months. It was hard to swallow when just several months prior I was running that amount on a Saturday...

I asked myself... am I running for a jacket? Am I running for a finishers medal? Am I running for attention? What the hell am I running for?

Really, this question helped me refocus and put things back into perspective.

I wanted to run to be free, to relax, feel good, to see cool things outdoors.



(link)

This realization made each step even more precious because I could then focus my energy on the good, and myself.

Rather then mope and cry that I could only go 6 miles I told myself  this time, this go round you are not just running 6 miles you are running 6 STRONG, HEALTHY miles.

I had to relearn to appreciate each step. I had to reconnect with my "roots."

It has been no easy task but it has taught me how much I love running and how freeing it is no matter what distance I go.

Amen.