Marathon Blues

Knowing I am not running the upcoming marathon and not knowing when I will run one again has gotten me a little emotional. I'm cool most days then boom a wave of emotion overcomes me.

I don't know what it is. Marathons are hard and 2 out 3 marathons I have ran have been injured (although I didn't know till after the fact). So trust me, it wasn't all fun. I can still remember having to walk the last 4 miles during my last marathon because my feet were on fire!  

But yet, my body yearns the marathon. 

The sense of accomplishment.

Taking on the "impossible" is truly life changing and really indescribable.

I can envision myself lining up for the half, with marathoners trickled around me and it kinda hurts.

But I am where I am suppose to be.

Everything I have done, and not done has led to this moment.

I am going to accept the half, and remember after my injury the half is a big accomplishment.

Because "mourning" and being jealous of the marathoners will only elongate my suffering and take away from something that is still wonderful.

I can attempt to live with it and make the best or I can suffer. I have decided not to suffer anymore. I won't lie, there will be some kicking and screaming but its all about baby steps.

This is the reality.

And it is time to accept it.