Running on behalf of...

I started running for a million reasons. But one that kept me going the distance was my Grandfather. Hes one of my best friends, and a hero so I ran on his behalf.

This time for the marathon I wanted to do the same. I mean dedicating my run helped keep me  focused because there was no way I was throwing in the towel after I told my grandfather I was running on his behalf.

So originally I thought about running a mile for 26 people. I was going to cut a ribbon and write their name on it and have them streaming off my spi pack. However, after my I hate running spell I learned quickly that I wasn't going to get motivated that way. I wasn't sure what was.

If you didn't know, the cure to my running spell was listening to my body and not running just to run. I started making it a job, something I had to do. If you know me thats just not how I work and having to do things just to do them makes me resent them...

Now, if I'm tired... I don't run or maybe I walk or do workout video instead. If I want to stop, I stop. No shame. I'm still out there. But at the same time, my competitive side tells me if you aren't giving it your all or if your not running the entire time your not a runner! Bullshit... thats what I tell myself, now.

That mentality was making me my own worse enemy.

I was running alone one day and I wanted to walk and I actually felt bad about it! You shouldn't be wanting to walk after 3 miles! You ran 13! Countless times! And thats when I adopted the Forrest Gump philosophy. I run because "I just felt like running" and when its time to stop there doesn't have to be a reason.

This mentality has gotten me far the past 2 months. Im running on my terms and at my pace. This made me realize that im really not running for anyone in fact but myself...

 

 

A new concept for me and ya know what? I got the biggest grin when I realized it. So no, I'm not running for cancer or world hunger this marathon. I am literally, running for myself. I'm dedicating every 26.2 miles to myself because I deserve it! I worked for it! I struggled for it! In the end i'm the only one that can do it for me.